Weekly Special: This is Me Loving You

November 13, 2010 § Leave a comment

I have nothing for you this time. I’m exhausted. I have a cough. And I have little energy. I pour it into making food and other basics.

I’m falling asleep with the kids at night and being woken up tired the following day, making my life (currently) seems like one never-ending ________ (fill in the blank).

I’ve been on the receiving end of a whole lot of screaming. Every request, complaint and delight from baby brother is delivered fortissimo. It’s a power I experienced slightly differently with his older sister.

I am trying to avoid quick negative reactions to the screaming (which sometimes I achieve) as well as to the indirect throwing that follows a lot of the screaming.

I’m sure it’ll turn around. I’m sure I’ll get through it. In the meantime, it’s my nearly 4 year old who is consoling me when I can’t take it anymore. It’s her who historically would have these emotional outbursts (I swear they were different), but now has the patience to remind me that her brother just needs his mama.

There’s probably a better way to close this entry into the Weekly Special ranks. Some way to cheer it up. Some point of view that would make this all make sense.

The only thing I’ve got to say is that I’m not labeling it. The only thing I’m going to call it is an emotional outburst and not claim it’s anything manipulative nor normal for this stage. I guess I do have a way to remind myself that I’m loving my little boy by not letting myself call him a terrible two year old.

That’s not what’s going on. He’s not terrible.

Plus, if I start calling him names, what will keep me from calling him names in the future, say when he’s a teenager, or an adult. And what good could ever come of that?


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