August 29, 2010 § Leave a comment
We’re moving at the end of the month. I’m excited, but I’m also really sad. I’ve made some really strong connections here and I’m so afraid I’ll lose them. I’m afraid I won’t talk to my close friends once a couple of months have passed after moving. I’m afraid I’ll be forgotten. I’m afraid my kids will forget their friends.
What I’ve learned about fear is that it’s not always that accurate. I can fear all I want but it’s not necessarily going to happen. I could be afraid of getting hit by a quickly opening door but that might never happen. I might be afraid of getting hit by a car (again) but it probably won’t happen, either. It could. But, if I listen to my dance movies like I should, then I have to say that Strictly Ballroom has taught me that: Vivir con miedo es como vivir a medias. (A life lived in fear is a life half lived.)
So, although I’ll have these fears, they will not rule me or my move. We are moving. I am excited for the move, even when I cry because I won’t be able to walk to my friends’ houses, or do all the things I’ve become so comfortable with. Aaah, comfort. That says it all, don’t it? It’s fear of leaving the comfort zone.
I used to leave this comfort zone a lot before I had kids. Do I not want to leave it to protect them? What am I protecting them from anyway?
I do wonder how different my family and I will be in the flat lands. Here in Vermont, we’re tucked into the Green Mountains, at the end of line of condos. How differently will my kids be looking out at flat cornfields? We will be living in the city, but still. It’s gonna be a different feel. Will there be more room for all our energy? Between me and my kids, we’ve got plenty to throw around. What will it feel like?
We’re all definitely going through some major changes. It really does feel like we’re beginning a new chapter to our life, and this move, in this light, is very well timed.