This is me loving you
June 15, 2010 § 4 Comments
I shared this at today’s LLL meeting and wanted to share with you, too.
When I’m not feeling like doing what my kids ask me to do, clean up yet another mess, pick up yet another toy, etc, I’ve found a way to turn my no energy into yes energy and actually enjoy myself in the process.
It happened at some point with bilingual baby a couple of months ago. She was pouring herself some rice milk and some spilled and I was not in a good mood. I handed her a towel and said, in my “I’m trying to not have an attitude” voice, you can clean it up with this towel. She turned to me and said, mami do it.
Since I already wasn’t in a good mood, getting this sort of directive from a 3.5 year old was quickly pushing me over my easily drawn line. Out of nowhere, which tells me it was divine intervention, I said, “This is me loving you” and I cleaned it up. She turned to me and gave me a huge hug that I took to mean, “thanks, mama, you’re the best. you didn’t want to do it but you love me so much that you did it anyway”.
I felt all my anxiety about feeling like a pushover melt away. My worries about what other might say, should they pass by and look in through our windows, vanish.
I’ve used this approach many, many, many times. I still say it out loud but I’m sure it’ll become second nature in… say, 30 years. Although, I may still be saying it when they’re grown ups. Who knows.
The sweet thing is that now bilingual baby will say “this is me loving you” when she does something she doesn’t want to do but does anyway. It’s especially sweet because it’s unprompted. I ask her to do something and 50% of the time I’ll just accept that she wants to do something else- when I accept her where she is she’s more likely to do something to help me out.