Well, I feel like I’m at the beginning of my rope again…

June 3, 2009 § Leave a comment

Over the last two (or maybe even three) months, I’ve been barely holding my head above water. That was one of the reasons to take the costume gig. I wanted to have something else to do other than intuit my kids’ needs. I’ll now enter a parenthesis on our EC’ing, which I will approach from my perspective and what it entails for me, not my baby, but will return to my main theme in a second. Skim if you must.

Baby brother is 9 months. He crawls on hands and knees, is saying things like mama (when in desperate need) and papa (for fun times) and has a “call” that means he wants his big sister’s attention and wants to play. I’m also starting to introduce some table food. He doesn’t eat it every day, much less three meals a day, but it does allow for a calmer child when we’re all at the table eating our meals. He’s included. I don’t take him to the potty every time he’s gotta go. I don’t actually know every time he’s gotta go- but every other time I freak myself out, I’m good. He is getting to a point where he knows when he’s gone, which is when he starts calling for me and if I am involved in something (say, a kid’s costume) he’ll crawl over to me and give me the look which tells me that he’s got a need I’m going to meet. I’ve also started taking him in the morning (bilingual Papi takes him if it’s too early for me) and he seems to prefer it to diapering. I got him some 2T training pants and they actually fit pretty well. It’s perfect being outdoors so much (or having that ability) because he can then wander around in the fresh air.

My parenthesis is now closed. The theme of exhaustion will now be explored.

A week ago, I was using G-diapers to rid my sweet child of what didn’t turn out to be such a nasty diaper rash (go breastmilk!) and I mentioned to bilingual papi that on days when I’m overtired I should just use the G’s and not change baby brother so often (I change him anytime the diaper is wet or soiled). I lasted that one day with the G’s. Though I think they’re the closest I’ll get to a disposable diaper (it’s biodegradable) I didn’t start back with the cloth the next day out of pride. It was just the cycle of things.

One day, I was feeling burnt out and the next I was magically sleeping in with my two kids. The last two or three months were sort of leading to this burn out. I was going non-stop with the kids. Neither of them was sleeping very much and I wasn’t getting any time to just sit and stare off into space- which I love to do! We had 11pm bedtimes and 6am wake up calls one week and cranky kids, teething baby, and one frustrated mom feeling like she (me) was the worst parent available.

Well, I’m beyond that tunnel and I can see now what I couldn’t see before: it’s not my fault that they were grumpy. It was not my fault that I couldn’t console them each and every time. And the partial weaning continues. So, now that I’ve gotten some much needed sleep and my kids are going to bed  and having a decent night and I’m now able to get out of bed after putting them both to sleep, get up and sew while watching tv, I’m feeling the effects of R&R. I’ll also be catching my breath after Friday (my podeagi sewing deadline, sort of) and perhaps starting on a new venture: modern dance class: Saturday mornings…


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