In reponse to my fan mail

May 16, 2009 § Leave a comment

Yesterday, I got an anonymous letter from someone whom I must know saying how something something they were about our kids playing outside naked (I’m too tired to recap). Today I don’t feel like defending myself and I don’t feel like attacking, either. It was kind of the same yesterday when I opened the letter. The one feeling that has prevailed is sadness. On all fronts. I’m mostly sad that this friend couldn’t just tell me in person. Were they afraid of confrontation? I’m probably way to tired to even attempt to be confrontational, even if I tried.

I’m wearing baby brother as he sleeps and bilingual baby is asleep in the stroller which is parked in the hallway. All I have energy for right now is the relief that both kids are asleep. I don’t even want to think about transferring either of them to bed because that hasn’t worked in the last week and bilingual papi is upstairs napping, too. Yes. Poor me! I would like a pity party in my honor. I’m drained emotionally, mentally, and physically. I don’t know who my friends are and I will now wonder if more of this kind of mail will come my way about other choices I’m making. Some say it’s karmic and that you are sent what you put out there. With all the difficult things that have happened to me (some of you know what I’m talking about) I can’t say that I agree. I’ll lay rest on a mindset of character building. The letter came to me to help build my character. How would I deal with something like this when I’m trying to deepen my friendships and avoid superficial encounters all the time? How would I deal with this being as tired as I am? … and so on.

One thing I have to say about this letter I received is that what she said doesn’t bother me much. It was the fact that she made the choice not to tell me in person. I’m sure she has her reasons. I’ve got mine, too.I guess it would have made me pretty defensive to have this friend make a comment while still playing outside. I did feel a little revengey-revengerton blogging about this as I think more people are lurking but … well, there you go. This is how I cope. The letter did make me want to curl up with bilingual baby and nurse her to her heart’s content, so if the anonymous author is reading this I give you a most heartfelt thank you.

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