Man, I wanted more enlightenment!
December 10, 2008 § 1 Comment
I’m trying to keep this blog updated so I can look back at a stage and remember what it felt like to not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Well, I don’t know if it was the visit we got yesterday (a pure pleasure) or if it was getting outside in the snow and pulling bilingual baby and her new friend around in the sled or what but I wasn’t having as hard of a time as I’ve been having.
The hardest thing lately has been nursing bilingual baby. I’m hearing from friends that their toddlers are nursing just as actively as mine and some just as frequent. Makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone. Sometimes I just can’t nurse her as long as she needs me to. (Believe it or not, this is a shortened version of what’s going on.) Last night, it wasn’t hard on me to nurse her all the way back to sleep. As you may imagine, she didn’t stay up as long as she has been. When we woke up this morning at 6:30, it still seemed early but not as bad. Once I had a little time to open my eyes (and nurse her again), things started to look up. Her baby brother wanted to nurse, too, so on we went.
Now that I’m fully awake, I’ve got a complaint and a realization.
Complaint: I want to be awake again in the middle of the night like the monks and try to meditate through whatever is going on.
Realization: When I’ve gone through a period of intensity (lots of crying, little sleep, little patience, etc) I usually find myself breaking through into almost a new me. I know these are baby steps but at this stage in the game I think baby steps are the way to go.
We’ll see if there is a nap in store for us today. She did wake up just before 7…