When the going gets rough

November 26, 2008 § 2 Comments

As you know, I’m brutally honest on this blog which makes it so very me. In the past, there have been posts that have annoyed people and that’s the same in real life. I know that my opinions are many and often far from mainstream so I get that some may feel attacked by what I write. It’s not the intention. It’s only my intention to make this blog reflect who I am right now.

I try to be a calm person with my kids and sometimes it just gets so tough to be on my best behavior. (This is not a confessional.) When bilingual baby was an infant she could do no wrong and I had a lot of energy for her. I needed very little in the way of “breaks”. After the first year of her life, I started questioning my role as a mother and searched for work out of our home. Then, I found out I was pregnant and began questioning my role as a mother to two babies. Now, I have really rough days from time to time and no one to bail me out. A mixed blessing. It’s especially hard to ask for help when your kids are sick as nobody likes to get sick- much less get their kids sick. So, it rains, it’s cold, it’s icky, you feel icky and you feel isolated. Imagine that plus your morning going horribly. Pee on the sheets, yoghurt spilled on the rugs, etc.

After about 3 hours of this, we came to the peak of emotional intensity. Older child screaming, younger one passed out from the older one’s meltdown. Not to mention my meltdown. What must the neighbors be thinking? What must you be thinking of me? Then, we said a prayer. A prayer for children that bb asks for. We always say in Spanish. Here it is in English:

O God, guide me, protect me, make of me a shining lamp and a brilliant star.  Thou art the Mighty and the Powerful.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

BB then asked that we say a prayer for my older sister and then for her Papi. And just like that, the cloud lifted and we had moved past the morning. No more tears, no more intensity. All done.

An hour later, she’s back to helping me cook and offering unsolicited kisses.

Kids are so much more forgiving than adults are.

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