Dear Homebirth doubter,

August 1, 2008 § 4 Comments

I wanted to write you an open letter to say a couple things that have been on my heart lately. First of all, I’m not going to try to prove that a homebirth is a safe choice. That’s for every woman to decide for herself. After having one homebirth already, I’ve become a homebirth advocate by default. It’s just how it happened. I sort of fell into this role and do feel the urge to share my experience when the opportunity arises, and it often does, especially now that I’m planning my second homebirth.

I guess what I’d really like to say is that it’s always clear that you doubt the safety of what I’m doing. Every time you mention that there is always a chance I may end up in a hospital, I can tell you’re not quite sure why I bother with a homebirth. There are many other ways in which you reveal your true feelings towards my thoughtful decision and I know there’s nothing in this world I can do to change your mind. However, your stress is being passed along and I don’t need that. Just because I don’t mention the things that concern me doesn’t mean I don’t have concerns. But I believe that positive thinking is a strong tool and it’s a tool I work with daily.

What about being realistic, you ask? I’m not sure of realism while pregnant. During labor, perhaps, but not in the emotionally open time which encompasses the third trimester. This trimester can find a woman so open that almost anything, any thought, can pass through to her subconscious, finding a place there to fester and create more doubts. I hope you realize that this is not what I need right now.

My dear friend (because we are all in this together), I hope at least we can find other things to talk about. I’m just disappointed I can’t share my joys as a homebirther with you.

sincerely,

Leila

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§ 4 Responses to Dear Homebirth doubter,

  • Isil says:

    Great post!I guess there’s only a month to go,isn’t it?I’m getting excited for you.Hoping all goes well.

  • Judy says:

    Leila…sending you encouraging thoughts and praying for you.

    I doubt anyone who expresses their concern even thinks of what effect their words have on you.

    Maybe they will think before they speak now.

    You said it well…and kindly.

  • Leila says:

    Isil, you’re right. Just another month… or less. 😉

    Judy, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I’m glad this open letter came off as kind. That’s how it was intended.

  • halfpintpixie says:

    ooh one month, very exciting!

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