September 19, 2007 § Leave a comment
Just perused a book called Momfidence. It’s light and fun but also gets at the heart of what being a new mom is about. That is, the lack of confidence, the self-doubt, the voices that tell you you’ve made a bad decision, said something wrong, the sheer vulnerability of being a mother. (I’m beginning to think that some of this vulnerability is useful so that you can be at the same level as your baby. That thinking, of course, doesn’t help when you shift from caring for a baby to spending time with adults.)
This self-doubt starting for me when my daughter was born. Not right away but rather about a half hour after when I was asked if I wanted the vitamin K shot and the silver nitrate in her eyes. Nervous but feeling the non-verbal language of the doctor saying, “it’s just a small procedure, everyone gets it, in the hospital you wouldn’t have a choice, just do it for good measure, all mothers are the same, they take forever deciding, i hope this one doesn’t launch into a fit over the question, did you decide yet?“, I said, sure. As soon as I said it I wasn’t sure. (I’m also finding that being a mom you have this overwhelming sense of body language- very useful with a baby. Interpreting this body language is powered by intuition so if you don’t trust your intuition it’ll be harder to trust yourself as a mother. When too many experts are relied on, I don’t think that the intuition and the reading of body language gets exercised enough. But when they do…)
The book Momfidence encourages mothers to read (if you like) all you want from the “experts” but to remember what Lucy from Peanuts said: The expert is Within you.