Adjustment

Once again, I’ve had loads of things to comment on but have been having a harder time putting them into words… and saying things I wouldn’t mind others reading about and potentially taking the wrong way. I can only guess I’ve already done that. I’m also passing into a phase where I just don’t want to discuss bilingual baby’s behavior, development, etc, without being able to have a conversation in person. I do go back and forth on this because I have found some blogs to be so candid that I’ve felt supported by their content.

What’s happening is that bilingual baby is entering a new stage- where she’s much more aware of what we talk about when we’re around her. I was at a LLL meeting and they were talking about weaning. Everyone turned to me assuming that I had completely weaned my daughter. I shared a bit about our nursing journey and in the middle of me talking my almost 3 year old asked if I was talking about her. The rest of the day she kept asking me to repeat what I had said about her.

It’s like an acting exercise. What you say about a person, what you say to a person, and what you do, all say something about your character. I can only assume that bilingual baby is taking her first steps into understanding the characters in her life.

In light of this discomfort I’m having at broadcasting her life, I’m making a couple of cosmetic changes (I only mean that they are changes from the outside in, not that I’ll be making upgrades and making the blog look nicer). I’ve changed the photo- my mouth- that’s where you heard it. Also, even though the url won’t change, I’m changing the blog title to:

bilingual baby’s mami

(mami is pronounced similar to “mommy” and “mammy”)

Why these little changes? I need to remind myself that I’m writing about me. This is ultimately my experience and I want to see that every time I enter to blog.

I’ve got a number of unfinished blog entries that I may just scrap as I make this turn. Y’know, I started this to remember what was happening when I had a little kid. Then I had two little kids and now one of them remembers a lot more than I do.

I feel the need to be sensitive to that.

So, here to stay, but with less of the this-is-what-baby-can do, I bring you “bilingual baby’s mami”.

It’s always about me.

Two visits

My inlaws visited last week. Like most visits I was worried that I would have a hard time, seeing as they aren’t my parents and we don’t have that history. No ill intended, but I will never be able to talk to my inlaws the way I can talk to my parents. That’s just a fact.

The visit went well. They even stayed with us for two nights. Most of my friends are calling me a saint at this point. Haha! They must have more challenging inlaws than I do because really it was fine. One of the bumps that threw bilingual papi and I off was we found out that bilingual baby has a cavity, midway through his parents visit. Of course, I feel completely responsible for that cavity. Once it was confirmed at our visit to the dentist for our cleanings, I couldn’t help but spend all my brain power figuring out where I went wrong. It became a challenge for me when I’d hear that bilingual baby had sauntered off at lunch time to have pastries with her grandparents. I can’t blame either of the two parties. I could, but where would that take me? How in the world would that help? So, today, when all bilingual baby wanted to have for lunch was bread and a sweet treat, I flipped out. I’m still recovering from my flip.

I’m not quite at the point where I can do much more than sit and wallow and I’m feeling really raw. In time I’m sure I’ll find the balance.

 

The “Is it Friday, yet?” Wrap-up

I know it’s not Friday yet but here’s to hoping I turn around, change a diaper and voila! Friday appears.

We were ‘on the mend’ yesterday, and while we still are today I was laying low just so that we could give our bodies (bilingual baby’s and mine) more time to get all better. While yesterday we were still both using the hankies freely, today we hardly used one each. That’s great, right? We had a couple of nights where the coughing kept us both up, but last night neither of us woke up to cough. I woke up but I’ve got a nursing kid next to me. Needless to say, and as sad as it was, I had to cancel our crafty Wednesday just to ensure we weren’t spreading germs. Annoying germs, at that. I haven’t felt all that bad but just a hum of malaise. So, if in fact this was the flu, then great.

I just finished some wool leggings for baby brother. It’s an Elizabeth Zimmerman pattern. I’ve worked this pattern before and I’m getting the feeling that I’ll use it again.

On the knitting front, I’m also working on a bonnet for baby brother in gray wool. I bought a whole cone of the stuff cos I love it so much. With it I’ve made three pairs of socks (for my mom, dad and older sister). I think I may make some socks for myself after… tho the kids do need more nice wool socks than I do. I just love the feel of 100% wool socks knit by hand.

Baby brother is loving his way of communicating. He’s very clear, for the most part. He is only one, after all. For instance, he’ll go and stand by the food pantry and raise a hand up and start to say something nobody understands. Then he’ll start doing his sign for “more”. Okay, food, I get it. So, I offer him a rice cake. He likes those. He shakes his head. What? No rice cake? How about a corn cake? Big sister likes those a lot. He shakes his head. Finally, I figure out he wants one of the unsalted rice cakes bilingual papi got over the weekend and not the lightly salted ones we got today. What’s the sign for salt? Tomorrow I’ll sign “salt” while shaking my head to see if that helps him. Basically, he loves shaking his head.

Tonight, before bedtime (or whatever it is I do when bilingual papi is at work late) we went for a walk and played in our neighbor’s pile of leaves. We had a lot of fun. It was funny walking home. Bilingual baby said, “It’s so dark outside”… “I don’t want to be up all night”. She didn’t enjoy the walk home. Again, I wish I had had another carrier with me.

We had another CO scare tonight, too. I was on the phone with the landlords when it must have happened: bilingual baby decided she was big enough to try to turn on one of the stove burners. We have a gas stove and it was only after about 20 minutes and after vacuuming all the rice off the floor that I realized that one of the knobs was turned on. I know from an incident last winter that our CO alarms work. The alarms didn’t go off so I’m figuring we weren’t in any harm. By the time I realized what had happened it was already 8:30pm and I had two sleepy children waiting for me to encourage sleep. I was, and am still, wide awake. Tomorrow I’m getting those ugly knob covers to baby proof the stove. I’ve managed to stay away from gates but this is something I can’t count on bilingual baby to be good about… or at least I have to take precautions with this since I feel like it’s quite unnatural- the flame, she’s fine with. Knobs, not so much. There are plenty of times when she’s downstairs and I’m upstairs with baby brother and I don’t want to take a chance.

It’s cold here with all the windows open- see, I’m still wanting to get out every ounce of CO lingering, though I think it’s all gone. I had the front door open and was standing outside with baby brother on my back and bilingual baby unwilling to go outside without socks and shoes on. Now, that is irony!

So, since I’ve got a couple of more days until the calendar Friday, I don’t know what to do with my week. I mean, I messed up my Wednesday by canceling crafty time and tomorrow, besides going to buy some covers for the stove knobs, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

That’s somewhat untrue. I should mention that we’re having a blast doing wet on wet watercolor painting. I’m still new to this but in our kid version, we wet a sheet of 90lb paper and only dab a little of the excess water off. Then, we get our flattest paintbrushes out (we have a couple) and enjoy watching the watercolors spread across the damp paper. The cool thing with wet on wet is that it’s very moody. I’m totally seeing the difference. We used to do a bit of coloring with crayons and enjoyed it. Looking back at the coloring bilingual baby used to do, it does seem more like outlines instead of colors. Watercolor, in and of itself, creates more of a mood. Times that by 10 and you’ve got wet on wet. Waldorf folks give kids bilingual baby’s age only one color at a time and then little by little introduce other prime colors. In this fashion, the young child gets to see how each color reacts to the water, the paper, itself, etc. Then, she sees how the first color reacts to one other color, and then to two other colors, and so on.

We just got more paper this week and all she wants to do is watercolor. It’s really neat to do, too. One of the Waldorf suggestions is that adults painting alongside the child should take a long time so that the child doesn’t merely want the “picture” the adult made replicated on their paper. I want to get her a little board so she can paint on it and then let her paintings dry on it. After a while, I’ll get her some 140lb paper to work with. It’s recommended to soak the 140lb paper for 15 minutes before working on it. An almost three year old need not wait.

When did I lose weight? and other stories

I’m surprised and pleased to note that I’m wearing the same pants I was wearing when I got pregnant with baby brother. How and when that happened is my best told story: I don’t know. It’s great.

I’ve been wearing both kids at the same time and going on hikes in Hubbard Park which have been both calming and tiring- I am adding about 50 lbs (a little more than 22 kilos). It’s nice to know that the kids are right there and I don’t have to corral anyone. It’s pretty peaceful.

Since I’m here and feeling like rattling off information, I’ll also add that I was in a store downtown Montpelier called Onion River Sports Kids and I offered to do babywearing demos for them and they accepted! They’ve been carrying Maya Wraps (Mei tai’s, ring slings) and Ergos (both the regular and the sport) for a short time and I figured that most people go in there wanting to know how these carriers work. So, in November, we’ll be working together. There are a couple of ideas out there so far: Seasonal babywearing demos, wearing two, wearing older kids, etc. So far we’ve agreed that we should do something in November. They are also going to see if they can get a discount on baby carriers on the days of the demos. I’ll keep all of you locals informed on details so you can help me spread the word.

On the babywearing front, I have to say that I’m gearing up to make a mei tai for bilingual baby. The Ergo is okay but I’d like a carrier that actually had the fabric under her legs to go from knee to knee- the optimal for a comfortable and safe ride. I’ve got some measurements I’m working on and at this point I’ve just got to figure out what fabric to use. I’m thinking this will be a carrier bilingual papi also uses since he loves our other mei tai.

While walking with a friend today, two ideas came up (both from her):

1. I should have drop-off points downtown where I can leave extra layers neither of my kids nor I want to wear nor carry, and other things, for bilingual papi to pick up on his way home.

2. I need to invent a carrier so compact that you can fit it, much like those ponchos and bags, into a tiny bag and keep in your pocket. This need comes from the continuous desire bilingual baby has had to be held on our walks. I would much rather wear both kids than try to prop bilingual baby on my hip or back and be told that I’m holding her wrong (translation: she wants to be held tighter).

We also had some theories on food that we can’t prove which I’ll share after we work on them some more.

He’s so sweet

It’s nice when you hear reflected in your children the nice things you say. How many times already has bilingual baby said things that make me stop in my tracks. For instance, and this actually has happened on more occasion than one, I’ve said something or done something that she didn’t like (or in some cases has just been me being mean to her) and her response has beeen:

We don’t do that to people.

Oh my. Yes, we don’t.

Several times already I’ve heard her remark to her brother, “You’re so sweet!”

Helps me see the big picture.

How to make elderberry syrup

Making your own elderberry syrup is painfully easy. You get yourself some elderberries and get it to boiling, simmer for 30-45 minutes, smash the berries, strain the whole thing and add raw honey to taste.

You could just buy it and that would be great but I tried doing that and for one, it’s pricey; two, it’s just too sweet for us. I think also some other ingredient in it that keeps it from spoiling makes it distasteful to bilingual baby.

We call our elderberry syrup Purple Juice and she loves it! I doubled the recipe I found here and only added about 1/3 cup of honey. It’s perfect!

If you already make your own purple juice, how do you change up the recipe or do you leave it as is?

Sugar

There is a scale out there that grades how much sugar you and your family takes in- well, maybe not. But if there were our family wouldn’t be on either extreme. Nor would we be dead in the middle. I think we’d end up closer to the groups that don’t use any sugar.

When I bake, I either omit any sugar or substitute some of it for applesauce, bananas, or brown rice syrup. I try to feed my family basic foods, nothing too fancy since my kids are still so young. I don’t think their taste buds need to be bombarded with a ton of new flavors. Also, bilingual baby has been known to push aside a tasty chili in favor of plain black beans and brown rice. I’m having a hard time with bread these days- wheat mainly. I’m having a bad reaction to it and can’t really take in more than very small amounts. However, my kids are in a “bread only” phase right now. I’m promised the phase will pass and we’ll be back to our regular menu. Having said that, I have to also admit that they still eat all the oatmeal, beans and rice I offer them. Sometimes only after they’ve had some bread. Well, mostly baby brother. Bilingual baby is on a bread-only kick, something I remember from a year ago or so.

But back to the sugar. Bilingual papi and I sort of agree on the sugar thing but I think it’s a bigger issue. Dr. Mercola, who authors a great health site and newsletter, lists some of the dangers of sugar. He also sums up an article from the Journal of Pediatrics citing a study that  “revealed that in the 2- to 3-year-old group, average consumption of added sugar was around 14 teaspoons a day. This number jumped to 17 daily teaspoons a day among 4-year-olds and 5-year-olds.” This was in 2005.

Some may argue with me saying that a little bit of sugar isn’t going to do much harm. The problem with that argument is that there is sugar in almost everything. What once was consumed in small amounts now flavors pizza and pasta sauce, salad dressing, most frozen foods, etc. It’s ridiculous.

In Pictures

What a little sewing time can do

Bilingual papi took the kids to the library this morning leaving me to solitary sewing time for two hours! I didn’t know it was going to be two hours so I didn’t really plan my time. Still, I did get a lot done. I finished 7 of the dozen diapers I’m fixing for a local mama, I sewed and free hand quilted another pod (I still need quality time with my sewing machine to get to the straps- time consuming!), and I started on a recon tee for a friend. I’ve had this tee ransom for months now. I’m so embarrassed. Luckily, she’s nice enough not to make me feel bad for taking so long. I really did need time alone to work on it… only because I needed time to think it through. Having worked a lot on it I realize I didn’t need alone time. I could have done it with the kids around, so long as they were immersed in something.

With baby brother asleep and bilingual baby involved in a dvd (she keeps checking Harold and the purple crayon and Corduroy from the library) I’ve got a little bit of time to finish hemming some maternity pants for a friend. Better get those done fast before they don’t fit her!

All in all, yay for me!

Fair Trade, Buy Handmade

A while ago, I was trying to make a black and white decision about what I thought was better for my family: local or organic. What I’ve learned since starting those questions is that in our area most of the time local means organic, though it may not be certified organic. Either way, right? So, I’m tending toward local, even if it doesn’t have the organic sticker on it. Am I missing something here? Let me know, if I am.

Another thought came into my head later: What about Fair Trade?

It depends what it is… Coffee needs to be fair trade, since there is such a history of people trying to make a living off of very little in this field. Most things local will be fairly traded, but you must be cautious. There are companies who say they are local but their goods are manufactured in China. I don’t have a problem with China; it’s with the companies in the United States that pick China to do their dirty work. Cheap labor is not good for anyone. I know times are tight (I know I’m feeling it) but cheapening the work of others, despite the fact that we don’t know them, lowers their worth and in my opinion lowers ours as well. I’m learning this from living in Vermont; from having two little kids who are so pure and so giving to others. Bilingual baby even said that I made her baby brothers scooter simply because she saw me put it together- quite a feat, putting together something with all those tiny pieces, with two kids wide awake, ready to help- though it was more fun to have them help me than to have it appear in all its red shiny glory. In her eyes, people make things. I love it!

So, if a kid is going to ask, wonder and beg you to tell them who made this or who painted that, who grew the food, who put it in the silo (still with the silos), who made it? I can see why people take pledges to buy handmade. When you buy handmade, you get to know the person (even if only briefly) who has made whatever you’re buying. You get to know pieces of their life- you get a story with your purchase. If you buy something at a farmers market, you’ve probably seen the person under their tent several times, looked at their creations and talked to them about how they make it, what gives them inspiration, etc. Can you imagine knowing the first and last name of the person who made your dish towels, your spatula, or your … whatever? I know most people have a little mug that someone made. It was either a family member who took pottery classes or someone local who sells them in town. You treasure that mug. You pull it out when you have a friend come over for tea. You talk about it. You are so proud of the fact that someone- a person, not a machine- put time and energy into making the mug (or mugs) you love to use the most. It’s a great feeling.

We don’t buy handmade all the time, but we do try to go out of our way as much as possible to reach for handmade. It’s simpler when you have a sewing machine to reach for that fabric and make the thing that your family member needs. Bilingual papi kept using plastic grocery bags for his gym clothes. I stumbled upon a tutorial on how to make a cloth bag that looks like a plastic grocery bag. Need met. It felt really good, too.

I think the next step for me is to buy handmade (or make) the gifts I give to others. Most times I try to since I have a hard time shopping for gifts. However, when I find something cool to make, I can just make it and prep it for giving. I don’t know if I’m ready for the pledge but for now I’ll show you the button that you’d see if I were ready to make the pledge to buy handmade.

A couple of months back, I wanted to take the Wardrobe Refashion challenge, where you pledge to make all your clothes for a determined period of time from preloved clothes or from fabric, etc. Basically, you aren’t supposed to buy new for yourself, and you get to take it as far as you want (i.e. your family, gifts, etc).

Where does that leave me?

Lots of ideals. I like being an idealist, even if people peg me for a dreamer.