Dr. Phil’s request for homebirth horror stories

Dr. Phil, you are a jerk!

Dr. Phil has a t.v. show here in the U.S. He is asking for home birth horror stories for an upcoming show. Please be patient as I fume during this entry. After asking you to recount your homebirth horror story, one of his questions he asks is, “Did you have your second child the traditional way in a hospital?” Now, Dr. Phil, you don’t look like a young man. How can you call a hospital birth “traditional”? Have you asked your grandmother where she had her babies? Are you absolutely sure your mom wasn’t born at home? Okay. Besides the fact that he’s a sensationlist, promoting negative birth stories and plus negative home birth stories is really bad karma! How many babies does he want to have stall on the way out? Are his ratings really that low that he has to turn to this? Argh! I did write him a note telling him of my positive homebirth story. One of the midwives in town is trying to get a bunch of us to write to him, hopefully swamping him with positive homebirth stories. Will it work? Who cares. We have to try! Here’s what I wrote to him:

I had a wonderful home birth with my first child, in 2006, in Chicago with HomeFirst Health Services. It was a quick labor and I felt completely supported by those present. I had my family and some friends worried that we had made a wild decision to have our child at home, but in the end found our choice to be quite conservative. My husband’s grandmother and my father and his sisters were all born at home, connecting us on a generational level. By the way, hospital births are not the tradition, if you check your sources correctly, home birthing is.

One of the reasons I chose a home birth was that I actually wanted to have an experience where I’d be allowed to not be in control. Labor, which you wouldn’t know about first hand, goes smoothest when, like the internationally-known midwife Ina May Gaskin puts it, you let your monkey do it. This involves being able to feel comfortable enough to move and vocalize in the way your body wants to- not the medical staff. The mind-body connection is really powerful and a pregnant woman needs all positive stories (birth or otherwise) for her to feel safe when birthing. I had that.

I am due on Monday with my second child, also a planned home birth. I have the support of positive birth stories both from books and family and friends; I have the trust of my body; I have my homebirth kit sitting in the closet; and I have time- something a hospital would not grant me. Why would I want to go to a hospital unless medically necessary? And why would you do a show on negative birth stories, home or hospital? The negative image of labor has already seeped into myriad young girls’ minds. These girls have grown up to believe that the only way to labor is in a hospital with a medical team ready to intervene, not support. They believe that their bodies were not made to have a vaginal birth. These negative birth stories are a large cause of these misconceptions.

I trust you can do more research on the effects of negative birth stories on the outcomes of what should be normal labors. I look forward to watching a show of yours that actually promotes positive birth stories and supports women, rather than instills fear in them. Thank you.

Add your positive home birth story here.

Has it been made clear enough how important it is for friends of a pregnant woman to refrain from negative stories? I really do mean this. The news is a big culprit these days but so are little stories that you hear at work or around your friends. I’ve recently been on the receiving end of a couple of negative stories and I tell you that’s all I’ve been dreaming about. It’s related to your subconscious in late pregnancy (especially). Your body is preparing for one thing. Considering what would happen “if” or “when” is not part of the process your body needs. You can see now why going into a hospital where you have to think clearly is not a promoter of natural childbirth. It’s contrary to the whole process. But I know not everyone wants to have a homebirth. For those of you considering it though, come talk to me… and don’t watch Dr. Phil’s show!

Will AMA make homebirth go underground?

You may have already read/heard of the recent decree the AMA put out recently. What they think they’re going to get out of it is a control over where women can birth their babies. Namely, not at home. Not with a lay midwife (and that includes the Certified Professional Midwife; all of these women are trained, by the way, just not the way the AMA and ACOG would like). Not taking away business for OBs.

But, because I’m in my 3rd trimester (entering week 30/31 right about now) all I can do is relay my very. heavy. sigh. of disappointment.

I have many rhetorical questions but I don’t feel like even typing them. I don’t even feel like giving the AMA space on my blog… but, I do. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. And apparently the AMA is blaming Ricki Lake and her documentary for making homebirth “trendy”. Big laugh, everyone.

Here are a couple of links to things on this topic, from better writers than me:

Response in Huffington Post by Ricki Lake, Jennifer Block and Abby Epstein

Rachel Walden, Medical Librarian

Jennifer Block’s blog with two thoughtful responses (she’s posting more responses to this thing so keep checking back with her)

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On a more personal note, a new friend of mine, who’s been to Sweden a couple of times said that Swedish pregnant women have a midwife and an OB assigned to them (universal healthcare) but don’t see the OB unless something comes up- and it usually doesn’t. Majority of women birth at home or in birth centers and have great outcomes. When asked, few of them have ever known another woman who has known the gender of the baby before the birth- they don’t do routine ultrasound.

I’m still unashamed about saying that the current US medical system is easily swayed by money. If women wanted to birth in the woods and that made OBs (and the mega medical team) money, they’d get rid of hospitals and become bush doctors. (Laugh along)

Childbirth humor

Reflecting on the past prepares me for the future

My last post made me think more about the need to reflect on labor. In the current mainstream birthing culture there is the desire to paint over labor with broad strokes of “well, at least you had a healthy baby” and while that’s every mother’s concern I don’t think this thinking is valuable to the mother. The more well adjusted women are in their transition to motherhood, the more seamless the bond with mom and baby. It’s amazing how much labor can affect a woman, even way past their full-time mothering years. This stays with us. And I get the feeling it can haunt us. It can also give us strength- that feeling that once you’ve given birth in a supportive environment without intervention you can do anything!

I’m writing another post on the postpartum doula that we’re hiring for a couple of weeks after the baby is born. This is going to be really needed. While some postpartum doulas come and will do light housework this doula will be focused on feeding me, giving me tea, massaging me and talking with me. It sounds like a lot of pampering- a luxury, I would have thought before. But now that I’ve been through a rough postpartum that rushed into the real world too soon, this is going to be absolutely needed. Last time around, it was suggested that all I do was eat.sleep.nurse. And I did. But there was something missing. While I shared my birth story with anyone with ears, until now (with our midwife) have I started to understand some of it.

I’m thinking that it’s just that important to be able to reflect on labor with someone who knows the process who can guide you through understanding what happened and why. One of the reasons I wanted a homebirth was because I didn’t want to fight anyone on anything. I wanted a provider who would be open to a birth plan but who, in actuality, would practice the way I wanted to birth. I didn’t want to have to have a power struggle as I was experiencing one of the most amazing things I’d ever experience. Not then. I wanted to be there for it. I wanted to just close my eyes and let my body do the work. Not my brain. That’s probably why I was so confused about pushing from a semi-reclined position. I couldn’t understand why they would have given me the care I wanted (the one that was normal for this practice) and yet have me in an unfavorable position.

Now I know. And it does make a huge difference in how I’m viewing my upcoming labor. It’s freed me in some ways. It’s getting me more prepared to be open for this labor. For this baby. I feel more at ease.

I had read in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth as well as in her Spiritual Midwifery that the thinking brain can make your labor stall or even stop. There are a number of examples in the birth stories. But, since Ina May (and the other midwives at the Farm) have known about this for years, they can spot it right away and help out. One particular story brings me to tears every time. We read this story when I was pregnant with bilingual baby and it really helped us prepare me for labor. The story told was of this couple. The woman was in labor and she was stalled. Ina May knew them well enough (through prenatals) that she knew that one of them had never said “I love you” to the other. Just as the labor stalled, Ina May suggested that the one that had never said “it” say “it”. As if witnessing a miracle (though they were used to these things happening on the Farm), the laboring woman’s labor started up again and within a very short time her baby was born.

So, the mind is very powerful. But the body is more capable of pushing out a baby. I knew this going into labor the first time so I focused a lot of my preparation on calming the mind and focusing on the body. This time around I’ve got more expectations, maybe even more fears. Luckily, they are being gently cared for by our midwife. I’m glad we’ll be meeting every fortnight soon. This will give us a chance to get more stuff out on the table. Who knows what could be stuck in me…

Prenatal visit helps me find more closure

Surprisingly, our latest prenatal visit helped me see that yet another part of my labor with bilingual baby was indeed warranted. During one of our earlier prenatals, I remember asking our midwife if 2 hours of pushing is considered long- as that was what the home birth doctor (a family doc) told me after bilingual baby was born. She said it was actually considered normal for a first timer. She also said that she was with a woman who pushed for 5 hours and while that is considered longer, nobody was harmed by a longer pushing phase. What we came to is that the doctor we were with was probably making a commentary on the current birth climate. In fact, in most mainstream hospitals (of course, there are wonderful exceptions) it is my understand that a woman would never be allowed to push for 2 hours. There’s fear and they all begin to think about liability.

At this prenatal visit, I handed over copies of the notes that the nurse took during my labor with bilingual baby. They are very detailed. As our midwife was looking them over I said, “If I don’t have to push semi-reclined I don’t want to.” She looked at me and scanned the notes again. She asked us how it went in the end and the fog cleared a little as we tried to piece it together for her. Then she said, “Oh, it was because you had light meconium” and I remembered that the doctor had to Delee bilingual baby’s nose just in case she had inhaled some meconium on the way out. Here’s a very small picture of the delee I’m talking about. It’s a small object that the caregiver inserts into the nose of the newborn to then suck out meconium or mucous, though I don’t believe it’s normally used unless there has been meconium when the water breaks.

Anyway, back to the point. It all made sense. All of a sudden I burst into tears. I was so happy that this piece of the puzzle had been sorted out. Can you believe it? 17 months later and I’m still on about my labor? And I had a normal labor at home! There’s still so much to process. I don’t know how women do it when they’ve had labors that have really gone a direction they didn’t want- and for everyone it’s different.

Then, as she looked more at these labor notes she reminded me that I labored for about 7 hours and I should put it all in perspective. What she said next was really intriguing. She said that with baby 2.0 I could have a shorter labor (how quick can she get to my house? hehe) or I could have the labor I was supposed to have the first time.

What?

This blew my mind. You mean you can sorta relive the first labor with a second experience? What do you think of that?

Another reason to do it at home

I’ve mentioned before that between bilingual papi and I we have 15 (the number just went up a week ago) friends who are having babies this year! I was just talking with a friend who just had a baby and she confirmed my suspicion: there aren’t enough beds for the number of women who are/will be going into labor this year… when you go to a hospital.

Now, and you know where I’m going with this, consider your own home. Who, besides your lovable dog (if you’ve got one) will be vying for a spot on your bed while you’re in labor? Nobody. Nadie. Want to labor in the halls? Go for it. That dog of your isn’t going to mind that you are leaking amniotic fluid and some blood (being shed by the awesome work your cervix is doing in thinning and effacing). Doggy won’t care if you moan or growl or whatever. And you know that your partner won’t mind (or shouldn’t) and if you have a kid, they’ll probably simply stare at you and try to figure out what’s going on.

But that bed. It’s all yours.

I’m glad (on many levels) that I’m planning a home birth again. It’s nice to know that my bed will be my own, even if I don’t want to use it at all. So, have a home birth and keep your bed to yourself.

*This is my Home Birth PSA*

Listen

Here’s a link to 20 minutes of the hour-long documentary called Birth. Women and caregivers talk about just that, birth. The interviews with women are candid and telling of our current birthing culture.

Happy Birthday, Bilingual Papi!

The day has come when bilingual papi joins me in the ranks of 30 year olds. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention his birthday here where everyone gets a little celebration. So, happy birthday, papi. Sapo verde, amor mio. Que los cumplas feliz aunque no estemos ahi.

** By the way, this should have appeared in the morning feeds.

ACOG Statement on Home Births

February 6th, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) released a statement that applies more fear on pregnant women regarding home birth and birth in general. They state that “[c]hoosing to deliver a baby at home… is to place the process of giving birth over the goal of having a healthy baby.” This is what I was talking about the other day. The process of giving birth affects the mother for the rest of her life. Just ask anyone who has had a traumatic labor. Giving birth encompasses physical, emotional, mental and spiritual realms. Just the other day I was talking with a friend who, in telling me her birth story, said that she is still processing what happened and that she was not happy with the way it went. She doubts herself, her body and its ability to birth. She is told by well-meaning family and friends that “at least she has a healthy baby”. That does not console her. Nor has that phrase consoled every woman. Why does it work on some and not on others? I won’t try to unravel that one but I do have to say that there is a lot more to birthing than having a healthy baby. The laboring woman is still a woman after the birth. She may or may not feel like she is a mother for some time, though her feelings for her baby may be healthy. She may still need to process what she just went through with other supportive mothers in order to find her place within the world of motherhood.

Why would ACOG put out a statement when they have no real reason to restate their beliefs? Could it be Ricki Lake’s documentary The Business of Being Born? Or the advocacy campaign for midwives? ACOG’s statement smells of fear. But why should they fear women having babies at home if it weren’t for money. Do they fear that they will be out of a job if everyone decides to have a home birth with a midwife? Are they afraid their equipment will rust and their high paid anesthesiologists will go elsewhere to practice? or that their notoriety for being a “great hospital” despite soaring c-section rates will wane?

Among other similar comments, they state that women’s decisions regarding childbirth “should not be dictated or influenced by what’s fashionable, trendy, or the latest cause célèbre.” If you look back in history you’ll see that the use of chloroform was made popular when Queen Victoria used it during the birth of Prince Leopold in 1853. Elective cesareans became more popular when the media began to wonder if Posh Spice had scheduled labor with her 3 children at times when her husband, David Beckham would be in town. Another thing that’s interesting is that today’s OB’s just don’t know how to do what midwives are trained to do. For instance, most OB’s would rather perform a c-section than try to turn a breach. Why? Tina Cassidy says that it’s because of two reasons. One is because “the malpractice risk is too great” and because they simply don’t have the training. A midwife would rather try to coax the baby into a more ideal position before sending the woman off to a c-section fate.

I have to add that I don’t think that all interventions are bad nor are they wrong. There is a time for them. I do think that unnecessary interventions are to be questioned. More often than not, hospital staff will “ask” the laboring woman what they should do. They will tell her that the baby’s heart beat is erratic and that if she wants to labor naturally (without drugs or other interventions) that she will put her baby at risk and they both may die. What woman would say, “I’ve heard what you’ve said and I’d rather go the natural way, even if my baby dies.” Nobody would say this. And yet some do and they have completely healthy babies AND a more positive experience to welcome them into motherhood.

The statement is short. Read it yourself and come back and leave me a comment. Do you think, for instance, that “[c]hoosing to deliver a baby at home… is to place the process of giving birth over the goal of having a healthy baby”?

Birth documentary

The Business of Being Born is a documentary about birthing in the United States. Here’s the synopsis of the film:

Birth: it’s a miracle. A rite of passage. A natural part of life. But more than anything, birth is a business. Compelled to find answers after a disappointing birth experience with her first child, actress Ricki Lake recruits filmmaker Abby Epstein to examine and question the way American women have babies. The film interlaces intimate birth stories with surprising historical, political and scientific insights and shocking statistics about the current maternity care system. When director Epstein discovers she is pregnant during the making of the film, the journey becomes even more personal. Should most births be viewed as a natural life process, or should every delivery be treated as a potentially catastrophic medical emergency?

It’s being released in January and then on video in March but there are advanced screenings. Click here to see if there’s one nearby. I’m far from all the screenings so I’ll just wait till I can get it on Netflix.

Check out the trailer!