Giving advice on a Sunday

The strangest thing happened to me at the co-op today. We were out doing the family grocery shopping when a woman came up to me out of the blue and asked me if I used sunscreen on baby brother. At first I thought she wanted product suggestions but then she started telling me about how she and her boyfriend had a fight over sunscreen. The boyfriend had put sunscreen on the baby while they were out in the sun and the mother got mad that he had used adult sunscreen. Honestly, it’s never about sunscreen, or whatever the couple is fighting about. This fight is probably about something else and she wants me involved. However, I didn’t get that she wanted me as involved as it turned out. Initially, I took her over to the sunscreen section and pointed out the kind that we use, Badger 30+. She asked me why I didn’t use sunscreen on a little baby and I told her that I’m not convinced that the products out there won’t harm a child under 1 year. I told her that I will start using the Badger stuff when my little boy turns one (or around that time) and that until then I cover his skin and limit sun exposure. I also use the hats that have some UV protection.

Then came the awkward part. She asked me to go over to her boyfriend and tell him what I had told her.

Let’s recap. I’m standing there filling up my bottle of bulk liquid soap. I’m approached by a stranger who asks me about sunscreen. I’m told this story about a disagreement and then asked to back her up. Right then and there.

I told her that everyone has different views and these are just mine, all the while I’m floored by the request. I have no background in social work or marital disputes so you can imagine that I’m feeling quite inadequate. I’m a dancer and an actor by training. Later, when I’m retelling what happened to bilingual papi, I realize that she was basically asking me to be the I-told-you-so to her boyfriend. Or at least that’s what came across.

I did end up going over and meeting her boyfriend. His side, which he was upfront about, was that the baby had been teething and was overall uncomfortable and that a sunburn on top of that would have been more than he wanted to put upon her. When I heard that, I turned to the mom and said, “there are many sides to this”. I wasn’t eager to be in the middle of this argument nor for that argument to land on my lap. I suggested the product that the co-op sells, told them about the hats with UV protection, and wished them luck in their sunscreen choice.

Obviously, this family needs support. Now I wish I would have taken down their names and offer them a home visit through Good Beginnings or the Family Center. But… would that have been the best thing to do?

I’ve gotta ask you: In the event that something like that happens again to me, what should I do?