Was I saying something?

I’m finding myself stuck at conversational intersections, not sure what I should say next and/or not sure I should say what I was going to say next. I’m also finding that the transition from a mother of bilingual baby to a mother of bilingual baby and baby 2.0 is really stretching me and I like it. My midwife had some really powerful things to say about what she’s observed in my transformation so far. I’m looking forward to continuing on this road of growth but I must say it’s hard. Change is hard and the idea of being vulnerable, after being so vulnerable after giving birth to bilingual baby, is a road I’m afraid to be on. Luckily, I feel really supported by my midwife. She loves that I’m so open and vulnerable right now and I know she’ll be there for me when I make more leaps into being a mother of two.

Interesting that my postpartum doula has recommended to avoid gossip during my postpartum period. Even just chatting on the phone about other people’s stuff is no good. Not bad stuff, just stuff. I’m finding that I’m having a hard time being in conversations now due to this. It’s not like I’m going on and on about someone else. It’s even just the mundane that I’m having a hard time building a conversation around. In turn, I find myself stuck at these intersections. What do I say next? So, I blurt something out that makes no sense at all and sit on the silence that comes after.

Since I’m feeling disoriented in the conversation arena, I’ll leave you with another awesome post by Arun at the parenting pit called 10 Tips for Reforming Parenting Control Freaks. I really appreciate the first point he makes: Don’t watch. Arun suggests that instead of suggesting that your child will fall and hurt themselves, just don’t watch as they monkey around. I find this to be essential with bilingual baby’s gymnastic arts. Necessary for spending a day with her.